And I’m not even a fan of this term, ‘letting yourself go’ because to be honest I’ve been an expert at it.
It’s bad enough that I know it, but how rude and offensive that anybody else should notice it too.
I know all too well the struggles of working on myself to get to a point of being a better version of me; happy and hopeful and helluva hot only to ‘let myself go’.
Why did I do it?
Because I gave up too easily and convinced myself that you only live once and who would it hurt anyway to have another slice of cake or another helping of fries.
That’s what I used to tell myself.
And you know what happened?
Another slice of cake and more fries would become crispy wings and waffles with syrup and what about a juicy burger and a pizza or two.
Who would it hurt?
Yes indeed. Not me. No of course not.
Then I would look at myself in the mirror a few months or even a year down the line and be shocked because I had no idea I was letting myself go (please read getting fat)
I would shout at my family because they never told me and I couldn’t see it. (Side note: they did tell me. Apparently letting yourself go is akin to being deaf and blind as well)
Cue the guilt, shame, crashing self esteem, crying, cursing, embarrassment and tantrums. I would want to flush the idea of being healthy down the bloody drain.
Does any of this sound familiar?
Yes I thought so.
And believe me I know it feels like too much of a mountain to climb to snatch it all back because you are well aware that it’s going to take work, and worse yet, some self discipline.
I even toyed with the idea of staying fat and fabulous but tragically for me, my body wouldn’t allow it. It kept breaking down and it kept getting sick. It was screaming, “Get off your fat ass and do something about this”. (My father would say that too)
And so alas, I did just that but with a promise that I would never let myself go again. I was done with that feeling of hopelessness.
And you can be too.
Wanna know how?
Well stay with me now.
First you have to acknowledge it.
This was the toughest part for me. I didn’t want to look at myself and feel like a failure, again. I didn’t want to see that I was in a cycle of letting myself go, again. I didn’t want to acknowledge that I forgot to love myself, again.
And let me tell you, those 3 rolls of fat on my back were staring back at me and tormenting me. So defiant and so bitchy, like I dare you to get rid of us. Just you try it.
To quote Tony Robbins, “Identify your problems but give your power and energy to solutions”.
I had to acknowledge that the fat was a physical manifestation of all the emotional baggage that I was carrying with me. In essence, by refusing to deal with my emotional issues, I was in fact letting myself go physically.
The emotional issues were growing bigger and bigger in a physical form.
Once I understood where I was, I knew where I wanted to go.
Next, you have to offer up forgiveness and love.
You HAVE to be KIND to YOURSELF. I can’t stress this enough.
If a friend came to you in despair and said “I feel like a failure. I’m so lost and feel so helpless, what would you say to them?”
Would you say, “You’re so worthless, nobody cares about you”
Of course not.
So why say that to yourself then?
Treat yourself with care, compassion and forgiveness like you would your best friend.
Kick all the judgement out the front door.
Make a plan and get real about it
I knew that in the beginning, trying to exercise and eat healthy was going to be too much for me. I can only focus on one thing at a time. I made my focus food. That was me being real.
You know yourself and what makes YOU feel overwhelmed. Choose one thing to focus on in the beginning and just stick to that.
I know you didn’t ask for my opinion but I would suggest it be food. I am a firm believer in the 80/20 rule, 80% diet and 20% exercise.
Have fun and laugh along the way
If you can do this everything else just seems to click into place.
Don’t try to force anything otherwise you’ll find yourself back in the cycle after a while. Find a form of exercise that gives you joy or will make you laugh. I can’t dance but I do Zumba every now and then just for fun.
Be light in spirit when it comes to your health. It’s not a chore or something to dread.
So you let yourself go but haven’t we all at some point.
It’s time to get a grip. It’s time to be honest. It’s time to have some fun.
Don’t let the rolls, the emotional baggage or the supposed mountain to climb intimidate you.
You are in control and you got this.
I’m here for you, as always.
Happy and hopeful.
P.S. I’m very good at dishing out instructions. If you need me to tell you to get off your fat ass and do something about this, just holla.