Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale through the ordinary. That’s just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.
A note on life and a few reflections from the past couple of weeks.
I like organization and order and for everything to be planned and in it’s place. I like linear. I struggle with the zig zag and the up and down and the scribbles all over the place.
I would describe my childhood as a Jackson Pollock painting, all over the place. No offence to Jackson. I have therefore tried to create order in my adult life. Anything that threatens to disrupt that order throws me off course a little. Like my head starts spinning and I feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable.
There was a point last week where I wanted to cry because I was in the middle of a scribble. Everything was all over the place and I was trying to find the linear point, the part that made sense, the part that I could understand and be comfortable with. The part that would centre me.
And I was struggling in that moment to find it.
My solution of course was to be dramatic and to start thinking about giving up everything, this blog included.
I got stuck in a moment and I wanted to use that moment to throw my big girl panties up in the air and say, “That’s it, I’m done.”
Stop the presses.
Well hello Lisa Marie, we’re back at this point and this trigger.
What are you going to do now?
Behave the way you always have and stay stuck in a cycle or stand in the oncoming tornado and face the unknown?
This voice in our head is our “awareness” politely asking us to slow down and see the bigger picture instead of snowballing into a minor detail.
It’s like the Universe is reaching out and saying, “Here it is, take this presence of mind and show me how much you’ve grown.”
Now I’m a pretty stubborn and sometimes obstinate person BUT if nothing else all I could remember to do was go back to the basics.
And breathe. Slowly. Breathe. Deeply.
A note on life is that breath is life.
Sometimes we forget this.
And in that breath we remember that being uncomfortable is ok because it helps you grow. It helps you change. It moves you out of cycles.
A moment in time, no matter how chaotic, unnerving or uncomfortable, is just that, a moment in time.
Be in it and move through it. Don’t try to avoid it.
Because by the grace of a power that is far greater than us, it too shall pass.
Once it passes, we stand in a far greater place of wisdom, strength and faith.
And we can exhale, amen.
Blessings to you and your loved ones. Hold them tight and keep them close.